I've been feeling a bit adrift lately. Maybe it's because all the reading I've been doing has been a bit gloom-and-doom: Silent Spring by Rachel Carson, and Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed by Jared Diamond.
However, it's also because I kept telling myself I'd have/make more time for spiritual things once I graduated from college. But what have I been doing? First, I obsessed over my diet for a while (procrastinating, though also an important issue) got busy in a frenzy of sewing to prepare for Estrella War (procrastinating). Then, I got fixated on my dearth of housekeeping skills. With my new job, my new organizational leaf so hopefully turned over has been decidedly overturned.
With the weather warming up, I get back to my wardrobe. I bought myself a couple of blouses and a pair of pants that actually fit yesterday, all suitable for summer wear. I've been altering my existing things to make them more suitable--making some of my cami's extra long and cutting others into bras.
But I get the feeling my clothing issues (and probably the food and household organization thing, too) are just symptoms of my need to focus on what's really going on: my sense of dissatisfaction with my religious and spiritual life. And ultimately, I think I need to focus on the spiritual side of that, because this is about turning inward.
The question is, how to go about it? I usually attack things in this arena on 2 fronts: study in my own faith, and study someone else's. With this modest dress kick, the "someone else's" currently on my radar is Islam. I've been reading some thoughtful and inspiring blogs by Muslimahs lately. I'm probably going to go back and re-read the Qu'ran as soon as I'm done reading Silent Spring (which I'm pretty sure is overdue at the library).
For the "my own" portion of this, I'm reading the sagas. Every night before bed, no matter how tired I am, I'm working on reading the sagas. It's about making time for it. No more PROCRASTINATING!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Full Time
Well, my new chore system has officially descended into havoc, because I started working full time. I quit working for Scary Chick Publications Lady and went to work for Jenny, who is nice and not flaky and I know is on the same page with me about my caring for her daughter.
Which is great. Now, I will be spending 50 hours a week at Jenny's house. The up side to this is that I will dirty very few dishes, use very few groceries, and Luthien will have limited time to wreak havoc on the house. Luthien plays so hard with Maggie that she's exhausted and goes to bed right after dinner.
The downside is that I'm rather exhausted and tend to just drop stuff upon coming in the door, and need to go to bed at like 8PM, which means making it to SCA meetings is highly unlikely.
So, do I re-write the darn thing, table it until May, or just not sleep again for 3 months?
On the up side of other parts of my life, it looks like corporate politics are swinging towards David getting a promotion soon because his store isn't performing well enough to have as many managers as it does, and he's better qualified than the assistant manager to get promoted.
On the down side, one of the positions he may be up for involves traveling all over the country to open new stores. Only up side of that is that it pays better than a promotion to GM would. The down side is I'll see even less of him than I am while he is leaving for work every day at 2:30 AM (2 hours before I get up) and getting home in time to go to bed by the time I get home around sixish.
Which is great. Now, I will be spending 50 hours a week at Jenny's house. The up side to this is that I will dirty very few dishes, use very few groceries, and Luthien will have limited time to wreak havoc on the house. Luthien plays so hard with Maggie that she's exhausted and goes to bed right after dinner.
The downside is that I'm rather exhausted and tend to just drop stuff upon coming in the door, and need to go to bed at like 8PM, which means making it to SCA meetings is highly unlikely.
So, do I re-write the darn thing, table it until May, or just not sleep again for 3 months?
On the up side of other parts of my life, it looks like corporate politics are swinging towards David getting a promotion soon because his store isn't performing well enough to have as many managers as it does, and he's better qualified than the assistant manager to get promoted.
On the down side, one of the positions he may be up for involves traveling all over the country to open new stores. Only up side of that is that it pays better than a promotion to GM would. The down side is I'll see even less of him than I am while he is leaving for work every day at 2:30 AM (2 hours before I get up) and getting home in time to go to bed by the time I get home around sixish.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
So far, so good
It's week 2 of my new chore planning system.
I've gotten all my weekly chores done.
I'm thinking about quitting my new part-time nanny job because I might have a full-time one that pays a little better in the offing. I'll know tomorrow. I wouldn't just quit because it's less money, mind you. The woman almost fired me last weekend after 2 days of work because, well, she's overprotective of her daughter. Now, I find myself walking on pins and needles around the child for fear of offending her mother and getting fired. Not a good situation, especially when it comes to discipline. Also, I've babysat for the other person I may go work for in the past so we have an established relationship there. Oh, and the woman I'm working for now has Chick Publications stuff in her house, which is downright creepy. Actually, makes me kind of ill. Especially as a lot of that stuff is racist and her daughter is mixed-race and has some self-image problems (which her mother blames on past caregivers). She'd had some reservations about hiring me because of her church involvement. Well, I have some reservations now about working for her--not because of her religion in general, but because of this specific material in her house.
How do I know what's in those comics? I read them all in my grandpa's bookstore one summer.
I'm PMS'ing, staying up too late, and questioning everything about my life. I really wish I'd stop doing that.
Oh, and my dad had another heart attack but not as bad as the last one and they stuck a stint in his clogged artery. Dad, next time, go to the doctor when you're not feeling well, don't wait for the chest pains. Pretty please?
I've gotten all my weekly chores done.
I'm thinking about quitting my new part-time nanny job because I might have a full-time one that pays a little better in the offing. I'll know tomorrow. I wouldn't just quit because it's less money, mind you. The woman almost fired me last weekend after 2 days of work because, well, she's overprotective of her daughter. Now, I find myself walking on pins and needles around the child for fear of offending her mother and getting fired. Not a good situation, especially when it comes to discipline. Also, I've babysat for the other person I may go work for in the past so we have an established relationship there. Oh, and the woman I'm working for now has Chick Publications stuff in her house, which is downright creepy. Actually, makes me kind of ill. Especially as a lot of that stuff is racist and her daughter is mixed-race and has some self-image problems (which her mother blames on past caregivers). She'd had some reservations about hiring me because of her church involvement. Well, I have some reservations now about working for her--not because of her religion in general, but because of this specific material in her house.
How do I know what's in those comics? I read them all in my grandpa's bookstore one summer.
I'm PMS'ing, staying up too late, and questioning everything about my life. I really wish I'd stop doing that.
Oh, and my dad had another heart attack but not as bad as the last one and they stuck a stint in his clogged artery. Dad, next time, go to the doctor when you're not feeling well, don't wait for the chest pains. Pretty please?
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I've got food issues
I became a vegetarian a little over 4 years ago. I did this for several reasons:
1. I tried it out and felt healthier, started losing weight
2. Ethical issues regarding factory farming
3. I had a huge crush on a girlfriend who was a strict vegan, which was why I gave it a try in the first place.
Well, here I am 4 years later:
1. I've been gaining weight despite being pretty active. I have mondo sugar cravings that I indulge way too often, and I know my diet is a bit out of whack because it's got too much carbs and not enough things like fruits and veggies.
2. I still have ethical issues about factory farming, but compromise them all the time for dairy products so I'm being a bit hypocritical there.
3. The aforementioned friends cut me off a couple of years ago and no longer speak to me.
So, I'm thinking about eating meat again. Not a lot of meat, and preferably organic/free range meat from animals that have been humanely treated. Probably not all that often. Humane meat is also healthier meat, ditto with dairy. I think, though, that I might just start with some wings, eating out with DH.
At the same time, I'm going to start getting a grip on my sugar intake, and keep working on minimizing processed foods in our diet. I've done it before, I can do it again. Lucky Luthien gets to go along for the ride.
1. I tried it out and felt healthier, started losing weight
2. Ethical issues regarding factory farming
3. I had a huge crush on a girlfriend who was a strict vegan, which was why I gave it a try in the first place.
Well, here I am 4 years later:
1. I've been gaining weight despite being pretty active. I have mondo sugar cravings that I indulge way too often, and I know my diet is a bit out of whack because it's got too much carbs and not enough things like fruits and veggies.
2. I still have ethical issues about factory farming, but compromise them all the time for dairy products so I'm being a bit hypocritical there.
3. The aforementioned friends cut me off a couple of years ago and no longer speak to me.
So, I'm thinking about eating meat again. Not a lot of meat, and preferably organic/free range meat from animals that have been humanely treated. Probably not all that often. Humane meat is also healthier meat, ditto with dairy. I think, though, that I might just start with some wings, eating out with DH.
At the same time, I'm going to start getting a grip on my sugar intake, and keep working on minimizing processed foods in our diet. I've done it before, I can do it again. Lucky Luthien gets to go along for the ride.
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