This entry has more of my awareness of the larger world:
Thurs Nov. 9, 1989:
Dear Anne,
Guess what! The Berlin Wall is coming down! East Germans are now free to go as they please. My mom said that the wall was erected when she was just a little younger than me. Many poeple have died trying to cross it to get to capitalist West Berlin for almost thrity years. I feel sorry for anyone living in communist countries, like East Germany & the U.S.S.R. I know about the communistic government because I have been studying the Soviet Union for an oral report at school.
On Sally today, I saw 3 girls who were only 2 1/2 ft. tall. 2 were 9, and 1 was 11. One of the 9 yr. olds was mentally retarted. She was also adopted. I wonder what it would be like to be 2 1/2 feet tall and have a voice that sounded like that of a 3 year old. One thing's for sure, I wish I weren't quite so tall. 4'9" would be nice. Of course, I only want to be this height because I'm 12 years old. Well, I've got to go. I'm still a little sick, and I stayed home from school today. I could have gone, but I don't have my outline for my oral report, my Spanish vocabulary words haven't been memorized yet, and I don't kwno my spelling or spelling vocabulary words yet. well'p, bye.
Yours truly,
Anne.
Can you tell I was a bit scatterbrained? I even signed the wrong name to my diary entry. Oy, someone remind me never to let my daughter watch talk shows. There are better ways to learn about differences between people than that. At least it made me think, rather than make fun of what I saw.
At that age I was pretty tall, probably five feet even at least. And I was rather self-concious about it.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Saturday, April 08, 2006
I didn't have a very fun Halloween the year I was 12:
Tues. 31 Oct. 1989:
Dear Anne,
Sorry I've neglected you for so long, but I got sick Friday, was sick all weekend (so much for my perfect attndance record for Sunday School) and went to the doctor on Monday. Dr. Gross (That's the name of our family physician) said I had a virus. he said I'll have it for about 2 months. It's not mononucliosis, but it acts like it. If I get any exercise of just about any kind, I'll get even more worn down and maybe get another infection. Awful, isn't it? Yesterday I played 2 consecutive games of Monopoly with and lost 2 consecutive games of Monopoly to my omom. It took most of the afternoon and part of the evening, but it was fun. My main problem is, my throat hurts. I went home early friday and missed the Hobo Party everyone was dressed up for. And today, I missed the Honor Roll field trip. I worked hard and I missed my reward because I was sick! I cried over it this morning while my mom was at work. They went and toured the Amarillo Globe Times and then went to the Discovery Center, a hands-on museam, and saw the dinosaur exhibit on there. They went to McDonalds for lunch then afterward, went to a really neat park in Amarillo. I've got to go, my mom's coming, and I don't want her to gripe me out for not brushing out my hair (Whew! She didn't)
Yours truly,
Jodi
Tues. 31 Oct. 1989:
Dear Anne,
Sorry I've neglected you for so long, but I got sick Friday, was sick all weekend (so much for my perfect attndance record for Sunday School) and went to the doctor on Monday. Dr. Gross (That's the name of our family physician) said I had a virus. he said I'll have it for about 2 months. It's not mononucliosis, but it acts like it. If I get any exercise of just about any kind, I'll get even more worn down and maybe get another infection. Awful, isn't it? Yesterday I played 2 consecutive games of Monopoly with and lost 2 consecutive games of Monopoly to my omom. It took most of the afternoon and part of the evening, but it was fun. My main problem is, my throat hurts. I went home early friday and missed the Hobo Party everyone was dressed up for. And today, I missed the Honor Roll field trip. I worked hard and I missed my reward because I was sick! I cried over it this morning while my mom was at work. They went and toured the Amarillo Globe Times and then went to the Discovery Center, a hands-on museam, and saw the dinosaur exhibit on there. They went to McDonalds for lunch then afterward, went to a really neat park in Amarillo. I've got to go, my mom's coming, and I don't want her to gripe me out for not brushing out my hair (Whew! She didn't)
Yours truly,
Jodi
Everything sounds like more fun when you have to miss out. I was sick a lot during this period. We never really had a good answer for why, as far as I know.
Here's my younger self bemoaning the unfairness of her life:
Wed., 25 Oct. 1989:
Dear Anne,
Tonight I babysitted (Sort of) Aubre & Rachel Ribschlager. (I think that's how you spell it) My mom was here most of the time, so it wasn't really babysitting. I have to clean up the mess Aubre, Rachel, Rachael, and Denise made. My mom yelled at me twice today, and Mrs. Liebert, my teacher, gave me extra detention (I already had some) for running to the bathroom before I wet my pants! It just isn't fair, grownups just don't understand!
Yours Truly,
Jodi
Of course I have no recollection of what my mother yelled at me for. Probably had to do with not cleaning up like I was supposed to. I wonder if I got paid for my time that day?
As for the detention for running to the bathroom, my recollections of idiocies like that are among the reasons I plan to homeschool. You shouldn't have to ask for permission to go to the bathroom in an educational setting, regardless of age.
Thurs. 26 October 1989:
Dear Anne,
I'm supposed to be cleaning my room, but I prefer talking to you. I had this notebook for 3 years before I started using it as a diary! I love writing, and what could be better to write about than myself? Of course, I don't mean to be vain, but there is a lot about me to write.
It really is quite a pretty/fancy notebook. It does sound here like I had a bit of an ego. Really, a preferable state for a 12 year old girl, in my opinion, to the utter and pathetic lack of self-esteem so many girls that age have.
I have to do a report on a country other than the U.S. I had chosen Portugal, the place from where my great-grandfather came. But, there was only one book in the entire library on Portugal, and that was a travel guide! I decided to do my report on the Soviet Union. I think this will prove to be interesting. I don't know much about it, so I checked out 3 books on the subject. When I say I don't know much, I mean all I know is this: The campital is Moscow, the leader is Mikail Gorbachov part of it is called Russia, part of it is called Siberia, it has a communistic government, ther eis no middle-class social group, there are a lot of protestors, almost everyone is poor, and immigrants say it's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there, or, as comedian Yakkie Smirnov put it, "be sure and have a return ticket on you." Oh yeah, they also speak Russian there. Well, now you knwo what I mean, I don't really know much. See you later, I've got to clean my room (ha!) and help with dinner or supper, or the evening meal, or, midnight snack in London Eng, breakfast in Peking, or very early breakfast in Moscow, or brunch in Sydney, Australia or...............................................................
Yours Truly,
Jody
P.S. I know how many dots to put, I just wanted to show how long my list could last! PS.S. In Yours Truly, is the t in truly supposed to be capitalized or not? My guess is as good as yours!
Yrs. Trly., Jo
Dear younger self,
Not only did you know very little about the USSR, most of what you thought you knew was false. And the t in "yours truly" oughtn't be capitalized. And you misspelled your name.
Here I must insert some praise for the internet. I remember doing that report. No resource at our little public library was less than 10 years old. Most of it was thick with propaganda. When my daughter goes to write a report, she'll have the whole World Wide Web at her fingertips, from news to up-to-date encyclopedias to academic sources to blogs written by Russian children.
Wed., 25 Oct. 1989:
Dear Anne,
Tonight I babysitted (Sort of) Aubre & Rachel Ribschlager. (I think that's how you spell it) My mom was here most of the time, so it wasn't really babysitting. I have to clean up the mess Aubre, Rachel, Rachael, and Denise made. My mom yelled at me twice today, and Mrs. Liebert, my teacher, gave me extra detention (I already had some) for running to the bathroom before I wet my pants! It just isn't fair, grownups just don't understand!
Yours Truly,
Jodi
Of course I have no recollection of what my mother yelled at me for. Probably had to do with not cleaning up like I was supposed to. I wonder if I got paid for my time that day?
As for the detention for running to the bathroom, my recollections of idiocies like that are among the reasons I plan to homeschool. You shouldn't have to ask for permission to go to the bathroom in an educational setting, regardless of age.
Thurs. 26 October 1989:
Dear Anne,
I'm supposed to be cleaning my room, but I prefer talking to you. I had this notebook for 3 years before I started using it as a diary! I love writing, and what could be better to write about than myself? Of course, I don't mean to be vain, but there is a lot about me to write.
It really is quite a pretty/fancy notebook. It does sound here like I had a bit of an ego. Really, a preferable state for a 12 year old girl, in my opinion, to the utter and pathetic lack of self-esteem so many girls that age have.
I have to do a report on a country other than the U.S. I had chosen Portugal, the place from where my great-grandfather came. But, there was only one book in the entire library on Portugal, and that was a travel guide! I decided to do my report on the Soviet Union. I think this will prove to be interesting. I don't know much about it, so I checked out 3 books on the subject. When I say I don't know much, I mean all I know is this: The campital is Moscow, the leader is Mikail Gorbachov part of it is called Russia, part of it is called Siberia, it has a communistic government, ther eis no middle-class social group, there are a lot of protestors, almost everyone is poor, and immigrants say it's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there, or, as comedian Yakkie Smirnov put it, "be sure and have a return ticket on you." Oh yeah, they also speak Russian there. Well, now you knwo what I mean, I don't really know much. See you later, I've got to clean my room (ha!) and help with dinner or supper, or the evening meal, or, midnight snack in London Eng, breakfast in Peking, or very early breakfast in Moscow, or brunch in Sydney, Australia or...............................................................
Yours Truly,
Jody
P.S. I know how many dots to put, I just wanted to show how long my list could last! PS.S. In Yours Truly, is the t in truly supposed to be capitalized or not? My guess is as good as yours!
Yrs. Trly., Jo
Dear younger self,
Not only did you know very little about the USSR, most of what you thought you knew was false. And the t in "yours truly" oughtn't be capitalized. And you misspelled your name.
Here I must insert some praise for the internet. I remember doing that report. No resource at our little public library was less than 10 years old. Most of it was thick with propaganda. When my daughter goes to write a report, she'll have the whole World Wide Web at her fingertips, from news to up-to-date encyclopedias to academic sources to blogs written by Russian children.
The next entry in my child-self's diary really contextualizes the time of when I wrote it:
Sun. 22 Oct 1989:
Dear Anne,
Not much happened today, so I will devote this entry to the weather & especially natural disasters. Not too long ago, Hurricane Hugo swept across the ocean & destroyed cities & islands. It even submerged one island completely! On CNN, the news reports were all about the recovery efforts in South Carilina & the Virgin Islands. Then, a few days ago, there was a very big earthquake in central California, & everyone forgot about the hurricane immediately. Of course, they had good reason to. It measured 6.9 on the Rictor Scale! The worst thing that happened to any of my numerous relatives that lives over there was somebody's house fell off a hill. Of course, no one was in the house, so it wasn't too bad. But the Oakland Bridge fell down! Not to mention this really big double decker freeway! I'm glad that I don't live where there are any earthquakes! Tornadoes are enough for me, thank you. I've got to go now, it's over a half an hour past my bedtime!
Yours truly,
Jodi
So now we've grounded this thing in history. Yet how little has changed! How much did the major U.S. news outlets cover Tsunami recovery once Katrina hit?
My mom's cousins whose house fell rebuilt it in the same spot. I'm pretty sure Californians are crazy.
I think I actually watched the news more when I was 12 than I do now.
Sun. 22 Oct 1989:
Dear Anne,
Not much happened today, so I will devote this entry to the weather & especially natural disasters. Not too long ago, Hurricane Hugo swept across the ocean & destroyed cities & islands. It even submerged one island completely! On CNN, the news reports were all about the recovery efforts in South Carilina & the Virgin Islands. Then, a few days ago, there was a very big earthquake in central California, & everyone forgot about the hurricane immediately. Of course, they had good reason to. It measured 6.9 on the Rictor Scale! The worst thing that happened to any of my numerous relatives that lives over there was somebody's house fell off a hill. Of course, no one was in the house, so it wasn't too bad. But the Oakland Bridge fell down! Not to mention this really big double decker freeway! I'm glad that I don't live where there are any earthquakes! Tornadoes are enough for me, thank you. I've got to go now, it's over a half an hour past my bedtime!
Yours truly,
Jodi
So now we've grounded this thing in history. Yet how little has changed! How much did the major U.S. news outlets cover Tsunami recovery once Katrina hit?
My mom's cousins whose house fell rebuilt it in the same spot. I'm pretty sure Californians are crazy.
I think I actually watched the news more when I was 12 than I do now.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
I feel that before I can know where I'm going, I should have a good look at where I've been. I have a box in the garage of hand-written notebooks dating back to second grade.
Among them I found a journal I (rather unevenly) kept when I was 12-13 years old. I think an examination of my younger self is a good place to start.
The first entry is dated Thursday, Oct. 19, 1989. I quite helpfully started with an introduction of myself:
Dear Diary,
Starting tomorrow, I shall call you Anne. The reason why I'm starting a diary is this: I need a vent for my feelings. Today, I'm sick. (I could have gone to school, but I had a stomach ache last night, & besides I didn't get my Spanish homework done & I am supposed to have two math tests today. Anyway, it's a good thing I faked it, because I really feel sick now.)
I suppose I should tell you about myself. I have light brown/blonde hair, dark brown eyes, and I tan easily. I have two little sisters, twins, and they are 9 years old. (I had to ask my mom how old they are, I wasn't sure if they are 9 or 10. Scary, isn't it?) Their birthday is January 30. My dad is 43 years old. I'm not sure when his birthday is, though I know it is some time in March. My mom is 39 yrs. old. Her birthday is Oct. 30, the day before Halloween. Isn't that cool? I am 12 yrs. old, and my birthday is Sept. 4. My mom works in a print shop, my dad hauls parts for nuclear weapons, I think. (Continued tomorrow)
Yours Truly,
Jodi
I started that journal during a period when I was sick quite a lot. I attended a small Christian school at the time. The curriculum was self-paced for core subjects, so missing a lot of school didn't really interfere with lessons too much.
I named my diary after Anne Frank, by the way.
The next entry gives more insight into my younger self's personality and relationships within the family:
Sat. Oct. 21, 1989
Dear Anne,
I'm mad, my mother blames me for everything! I'm so frustrated! Here's what happened: I was walking along the hall when my sister called for me. She asked me if I wanted some pizza. I went to see what she was talking about. She had an aluminum platter with some marks on it. I took it from her & rubbed out the markings. I have it back to her and started to leave. She chased after me to hit me with it, and I started to run. Just as I took off, I ran right into my mom! She yelled at me, then yelled at me a minute later. I started crying & I came in here. Now my pillow is all wet.
Gee, I got in trouble for deliberately provoking my little sister and running through the house. What a shocker.
To continue:
I'm not sick anymore, the doctor said I need to rest. Rest! Ha! We went to Palo Duro Canyon today.
Now Where was I? Ok. Now I remember.
My dad never really told me exactly. I and my sisters attend Grace Christian School. I am in the sixth & seventh grades, Rachael is in the 3rd & 4th grades, & Denise is in the 2nd & 3rd grades. I am very tired right now, so I will see you tomorrow.
Yours truly,
Jodi
As I said, self-paced curriculum (Accelerated Christian Education, actually), except for Spanish, which was Abeka, a high school level video course which I and 2 other girls were doing in Jr. high. I was basically 1/2 step from homeschooling.
Well, that's who I was. I suppose I should contrast it with who I am now:
I am 28 years old, a senior in college at Arizona State University, majoring in Anthropology with a minor in Biology. I have been married (monogamously the last couple of years by default, but not by mutual expectation) to my husband David for almost 7 years, and we have a little girl, Luthien, who is 2 1/2. I still have brown eyes, but my hair is now quite dark brown, not blonde like it was when I was younger. I still tan easily, but try to be wise about skin exposure anyway. I still have trouble remembering my dad's birthday. My sisters are now 26, and to this day I kind of think of it as wierd/scary how much older they keep getting. One of them has a 6 year old daughter, and they are each in a cohabiting relationship with a guy named Michael (not the same one!). We've all 3 served in the Navy, which is where Rachael met her Michael and I met my husband.
I'm not a Christian; I renounced it for Paganism at age 16 and have practiced Asatru since I was 19 or so.
The little girl I was never imagined her life being anything like mine, that's for sure!
Among them I found a journal I (rather unevenly) kept when I was 12-13 years old. I think an examination of my younger self is a good place to start.
The first entry is dated Thursday, Oct. 19, 1989. I quite helpfully started with an introduction of myself:
Dear Diary,
Starting tomorrow, I shall call you Anne. The reason why I'm starting a diary is this: I need a vent for my feelings. Today, I'm sick. (I could have gone to school, but I had a stomach ache last night, & besides I didn't get my Spanish homework done & I am supposed to have two math tests today. Anyway, it's a good thing I faked it, because I really feel sick now.)
I suppose I should tell you about myself. I have light brown/blonde hair, dark brown eyes, and I tan easily. I have two little sisters, twins, and they are 9 years old. (I had to ask my mom how old they are, I wasn't sure if they are 9 or 10. Scary, isn't it?) Their birthday is January 30. My dad is 43 years old. I'm not sure when his birthday is, though I know it is some time in March. My mom is 39 yrs. old. Her birthday is Oct. 30, the day before Halloween. Isn't that cool? I am 12 yrs. old, and my birthday is Sept. 4. My mom works in a print shop, my dad hauls parts for nuclear weapons, I think. (Continued tomorrow)
Yours Truly,
Jodi
I started that journal during a period when I was sick quite a lot. I attended a small Christian school at the time. The curriculum was self-paced for core subjects, so missing a lot of school didn't really interfere with lessons too much.
I named my diary after Anne Frank, by the way.
The next entry gives more insight into my younger self's personality and relationships within the family:
Sat. Oct. 21, 1989
Dear Anne,
I'm mad, my mother blames me for everything! I'm so frustrated! Here's what happened: I was walking along the hall when my sister called for me. She asked me if I wanted some pizza. I went to see what she was talking about. She had an aluminum platter with some marks on it. I took it from her & rubbed out the markings. I have it back to her and started to leave. She chased after me to hit me with it, and I started to run. Just as I took off, I ran right into my mom! She yelled at me, then yelled at me a minute later. I started crying & I came in here. Now my pillow is all wet.
Gee, I got in trouble for deliberately provoking my little sister and running through the house. What a shocker.
To continue:
I'm not sick anymore, the doctor said I need to rest. Rest! Ha! We went to Palo Duro Canyon today.
Now Where was I? Ok. Now I remember.
My dad never really told me exactly. I and my sisters attend Grace Christian School. I am in the sixth & seventh grades, Rachael is in the 3rd & 4th grades, & Denise is in the 2nd & 3rd grades. I am very tired right now, so I will see you tomorrow.
Yours truly,
Jodi
As I said, self-paced curriculum (Accelerated Christian Education, actually), except for Spanish, which was Abeka, a high school level video course which I and 2 other girls were doing in Jr. high. I was basically 1/2 step from homeschooling.
Well, that's who I was. I suppose I should contrast it with who I am now:
I am 28 years old, a senior in college at Arizona State University, majoring in Anthropology with a minor in Biology. I have been married (monogamously the last couple of years by default, but not by mutual expectation) to my husband David for almost 7 years, and we have a little girl, Luthien, who is 2 1/2. I still have brown eyes, but my hair is now quite dark brown, not blonde like it was when I was younger. I still tan easily, but try to be wise about skin exposure anyway. I still have trouble remembering my dad's birthday. My sisters are now 26, and to this day I kind of think of it as wierd/scary how much older they keep getting. One of them has a 6 year old daughter, and they are each in a cohabiting relationship with a guy named Michael (not the same one!). We've all 3 served in the Navy, which is where Rachael met her Michael and I met my husband.
I'm not a Christian; I renounced it for Paganism at age 16 and have practiced Asatru since I was 19 or so.
The little girl I was never imagined her life being anything like mine, that's for sure!
I am rapidly approaching graduation from college, and trying to figure out what I'm going to do with myself. My husband is buying a restaurant, and will be making very, very little money for the next couple of years. After I graduate, I will have student loans to pay off. I have other debts I need to pay on. I would like to stay home with my daughter and have another baby, but need to find a way to make a living while doing so. We don't really have much in the way of corners left to cut that DH is isn't already cutting.
We're contemplating me moving back to my hometown for a while, where I can get support from my mom (especially childcare), and live much more frugally than here. We did the math, and maintaining 2 households (my husband will continue to live with his brother and his brother's girlfriend, our roommates) will be less expensive than one.
We talked about me staying here if I'm not going to grad school (which is the direction I'm leaning right now). If I do, he wants me to still find a way to pay off my student loans, and not go stir-crazy at home alone all the time with our daughter like I did when she was a baby. She'll be 3 when I graduate, and I want to homeschool and, as I mentioned, have more children. I have a network of friends here now, and truly don't think I"ll be bored.
But to make up my mind, I'm going to do a whole lot of self-examination in this blog. Comments are quite welcome.
We're contemplating me moving back to my hometown for a while, where I can get support from my mom (especially childcare), and live much more frugally than here. We did the math, and maintaining 2 households (my husband will continue to live with his brother and his brother's girlfriend, our roommates) will be less expensive than one.
We talked about me staying here if I'm not going to grad school (which is the direction I'm leaning right now). If I do, he wants me to still find a way to pay off my student loans, and not go stir-crazy at home alone all the time with our daughter like I did when she was a baby. She'll be 3 when I graduate, and I want to homeschool and, as I mentioned, have more children. I have a network of friends here now, and truly don't think I"ll be bored.
But to make up my mind, I'm going to do a whole lot of self-examination in this blog. Comments are quite welcome.
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