Sunday, August 20, 2006

Simplifying

For years now, I have yearned to simplify my life. Time was, it actually was pretty simple. The height of simplicity in my adult life was probably when I was living aboard ship.

Now, though, I need to find a self-driven way of simplifying. There are three areas I think I can conciously work on in the immediate future: Money, Time, and Consumption.

Regarding money, I have been trying to give careful thought to what I spend it on. I need to save for my upcoming move, and I have debts I want to pay off. Indeed, debt is looming so large I am really starting to think paying it off would be more fulfilling to me than going to graduate school (which will just run up more debt).

Tied into money, of course, is consumption. But it's not just how much I spend on things, it's what things I choose to spend my money on. Do I buy canned beans, or dry? Both can sit on a shelf, but one has a lot more energy and packaging gone into it, in addition to being more expensive. I've tried to whittle away at little things, especially in my diet. I don't drink sodas, just water. I don't buy a bottle of water every time I'm thirsty, I refill the one I already have.

I'm making a commitment this semester to pack my lunch rather than eat out. And to rely on planning rather than convenience foods, and get back to more whole foods.

I'm also trying to reduce the packaging on things I buy. I try to remember to take my canvas shopping bags (and if I don't, I get paper so I can recycle it). I need to buy loose produce, instead of wrapped-in-shiny-plastic produce. This can be aggravating when I'd like to buy organic, because they tend to overpackage the organics.

I start school tomorrow, so new semester, chance for forming new habits. I put a full tank of gas in the car for DH. I'm going to try not to use more gas in the next few months than I just paid for! I've been driving more places lately because my bike has a flat tire and we don't have the tools at home to get the rear wheel off--it's kind of rusty and won't respond to my attempts with a wrench, and our socket set is AWOL.

Things I've given up the past few years:

Meat
Soda pop

Things I'm fasting on for the rest of this year:

Cold breakfast cereal (yes, i usually buy healthy kinds, but it's expensive!)
Fast food
Any non-organic boxed meal (no more Kraft mac and cheese; At least Annie's or TJ's brand has less junk in it, and it's still only a buck for a box).
Things that come out of vending machines

We'll start with that.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

VICTORY POEM

This is the poem I composed after the last missile was launched:

Eight Tomahawks /We sent to smite
My Lady speed them /Fierce in flight
Sea-death falls /Hard from the sky
With Sig-Father's might /Our foes to strike
Straight to Hell /Those cowards sent
Ravens dine in rubble /Twin brothers avenged.
"America Strikes Back"

Here is a journal entry in my notebook that I wrote when my ship launched Tomahawk Missiles at Afghanistan in Operation Enduring Freedom in Oct. 2001. It's really raw stuff:

"AMERICA STRIKES BACK"

There's a party atmosphere on the messdecks. It makes sense, because they're doing the Hispanic Heritage Month dinner. The flan was really good.

In a few hours, the President will address the nation. Right now, I and my shipmates are among the privileged few who actually know what's goin gon. The Captain made the announcement this morning, but we knew something was up night before last, because we went to opseccon 1. here in River City, something was happening. It was imperative to ensure Mom, Dad, CNN, and our targets didn't know what was up. But not hearing from us likely clues them in that something is up.

So this morning, the Captain announced that we're going to shoot this evening, Oct. 7, 26 days after the World Trade Center fell, we're going to shoot. he didn't specify what weapon, nor at what. Tomahawks. Afghnanistan. Specifically, bin Laden's organization. And Marines are landing in Pakistan. Sure hope Pakistan change their minds at the last minute. Hope we take out the Taliban, too.

Stressful boredom has given way to anticipation. Soon, the release. We'll blow our load and go home.

But other will stay. I'll be able to say, "I was at the tip of the spear. I was there. I saw them press the button that we hoped would blow that deranged asshole to Judgement Day. may Allah give him his reward. Lots of hellfire in the Qu'ran.

It's only the beginning, of course. We probably won't get him today. And if we do they'll make a martyr of him, and convince more men that Allah wants them to force widows to starve in the streets and turn innocent men, women, and children into suicide bombers to blow up more innocent people.

No one with as much money as bin Laden has any right to be critical of capitalism.

No doubt there will be more terrorist attacks. my fellow servicement will fight and die to stop it. that is honorable and just. Afghan men will fight them because their country is under attack, and our ships and military personnel will be targeted. That, too, is honorable. but will they make baby-killers of this generation of warriors? The enemy has already done it to his men. But will they do it to us? Or did our leaders learn their lesson in the free-fire zones of Vietnam?

We fight an enemy without honor. I only hope that we will fight them with honor.

If that's even possible in the 21st century.

I have a deep sense of sorrow about this. I felt the same when I watched the second tower collapse, when I saw the name of the first person confirmed dead at the Pentagon. I do remember he was a third class petty officer, though I don't recall his name. but when we launch, there will be a lot of people dead, and for a couple of hours, they'll either not know, or they will be afraid.

Most of them hate us. But at least some of them will be innocents. "collateral damage" People in the wrong place at the right time. Such is the nature of weapons of mass destruction.

There is no McDonald's in Afghanistan.

They're directing the P-3 into position for a photo op. Wave, Carl Vinson. Mom and Dad and your wife will see you on CNN.

1820. Viewing area on the fantail. Plenty of cameras. 8 missiles. Going North. McFaul & some others will launch, too. Including a sub.

At 1820, it's our turn to commit an act of war. Somehow I doubt our initial body count will be as devastating. Do we hit the Taliban's stronghold in the capital? Or just the tent cities of bin Laden's terrorist camps, so easily abandoned? Will we hit Afghan air strips and military bases? Or a pharmeceuticals factory? A suburban neighborhood, the women cowering powerlessly in their houses? On purpose or by mistake? John McCain promised we would show no mercy. But destroying the Taliban is an act of mercy to the majority of people in Afghanistan. Maybe I'll go teach, when this slows down. i'll teach Afghan girls how to empower themselves. Or better, I'll teach their mothers and THEY will teach their daughters.

But I suppose not. They'll do it themselves. If we give them the chance.

Shit like this wouldn't happen if women ruled the world.

I wonderwhat Amy will think when I tell her I was sitting 15 feet away when they pressed the button to launch those offensive missiles?

I think after I finish college I'll join the Peace Corps. I wonder what David would think of that. Of course, the Peace Corps. might have to wait until I raise my children.

$35K a year.

Ooh, now we're launching 9 missiles, not 8. I wonder what last-minute target they'll assign us?

They're organized enough to crash our passenger planes into our national monuments, and the narrow-minded disregard to blow up their own, but are they organized enough to attack our ships at sea--a sensible act of war rather than a senseless one?

Our current TAO is a dork. He's the new CHENG. The CV told us to turn off our SPY in a sector around them. Ha-ha. We're so good, they think we have Spy-1.

Five minutes, and one of our idiots is flying up north of us.

Three minutes. I wonder what it will feel like? Idiot is heading west. Prudent of him.

A bang and a rush, and I couldn't help grinning.

Again with the 2nd. They're stealthy. My video is intermittent. there's one, and the 2nd. #2 is 24 miles away. I lost #1. Nothing past 24 mi. I lose video.

Here we go w/ #3...

And #4...They won't let me put tracks on them. :(

I followed that last one for 50 nm before I lost video

And here goes #5... Now it feels almost routine. And #6...

Oh, we're back down to launching 8. Someone actually put a track on #5. "NUMBER FIVE IS ALIVE!"

Oh, they dropped it.

12 minute wait until #7...I wish I could see some of 'em launch. Oh, well, I'm on watch. The rest seems anticlimactic. Not that #7 or 8 is likely to be any less calamitous at its destination. And I can feel the vaginal juices sliding out. I'm ovulating, and I guess my body is responding to the excitement.

I wonder if any of the guys has a hard-on.

And #7...

And #8. See poem.

In about 70 minutes they will start landing.
I'm horny.

And now the missiles are hitting the target. On this end, an anticlimax.